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WHO AM I?

5/28/2020

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Who am I? That is not an unusual question to ask...we play so many different roles for so many different situations and people. Wife, lover, mother, daughter, boss, colleague and so on, the list is almost endless. But who are we amongst all these?

Who is the core  self, the true woman behind all these roles and masks?
It can be difficult to sit with this question, to really discover who you really are. Stripping away the many masks we wear to reveal the inner person can be scary and painful. It can be confusing our belief system our sense of being what really belongs to us?

This is often because we have in the past been expected to behave in certain ways...to behave in someone else's expected way of being and criticized or rejected for showing our own way of being. This can be subtle, often a generational way of being. That part of you that had a different way of being is replaced by the expected way of another...it may be a parent or care-giver, a teacher or other important figures in your early life. You then co-opt their way of being into you...it becomes part of you, a false self replacing your own aspect. For example showing joy at seeing relatives visiting your home as a small child, this may  not have been an acceptable way of being and you may have been chastised and told to be quiet...seen but not heard. This subconsciously tells you that part of you is wrong/bad...the excitement, pleasure and exuberance around people visiting  is not acceptable. You then adopt [subconsciously] the other way of being replacing your true core part...the exuberance-excitement or joy. That part , that core sense of self is replaced by another's aspect of themselves, quashing your core aspect.

Counselling supports you in rediscovering your true core sense of self...to identify those parts of you that do not belong to you and are stifling your true aspects of self. For incorporating others aspects/ways of being leaves us empty,  feeling false and not totally relaxed or accepting of ourselves.
We all carry baggage from our past that plays out in relationships we have today. You deserve to be free from the baggage and to walk forward on your path with the freedom and power to be the woman you are truly meant to be.

Namaste
Sara  
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COVID 19

4/26/2020

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We are living in an unpredictable time, a time of uncertainty and for many of us, a time of fear and worry. However, we are all in this together, we stand as one. Being there for one another is so important at this time. This may be by phone, video, watching You Tube, television or in each other’s thoughts. We are all part of humanity and all of humanity is there for you…
I would like to share with you my poem about COVID 19…
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Unseen you creep through this land
Bringing fear and pain unbounded
You flow through night and day touching us with fingers of death
Drawing the breath of life from our bodies and paralysing our minds with terror
You inflict pain and sorrow as you burrow amongst us, unseen, unheard, stealthily seeping into our veins and filling our cells with your poison
Our armies cannot protect us, our fight is a personal one, just you and I, who shall be the victor?
Our weak and vulnerable are easy pray for you
But you are not content in collecting them in your arms…no, you dig deeper and pursue anyone who stands in your way
But we will all stand together against you…the old, the young, all of mankind…we will force you to retreat, to flee, to return to the dark recesses of your existence
We will emerge stronger, wiser and kinder…we will banish you from our lives and begin to live a new life, a better life, a kinder life without you
For we are there for each other with arms outstretched in love and for you, COVID 19, you shall never be the victor…
 
Sara



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Changing Lives Changing Times

3/21/2020

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,COVID 19 is changing the way we live our lives…it is challenging us all in every aspect of our lives, our work, leisure and most importantly our health, both physical and emotional.

I initially felt I was viewing an apocalyptic film, not reality, it felt far removed from me and my life. However, gradually the reality of the virus and its path became all too obvious and I found if I gave it my full attention, I became scared. I am not alone in this as we are all in it together. We will get through this crisis together…supporting one another.

What I found helpful was to balance the negative news with the positive things in life. Reduce the amount of time watching the television reports; watch the important ones such as the daily Prime Minister Update. Spend time meditating, if you have never tried it…CALM is a good Mindfulness app and there are many meditations available on YouTube. If you have a garden or outside space, spend time there, sitting, planting, redesigning your space, reading a book or just a walk around the garden. You could take advantage of The National Trusts-Open Garden policy, including free parking. w ww.nationaltrust.org.uk/press-release/the-national-trusts-latest-statement-on-coronavirus-covid-19
On reflection, I have seen the most amazing community spirit rise out of this…community sites set up to help those who are self-isolating, the elderly or vulnerable by offering to walk dogs, collect food shopping and prescriptions and much, much more. 

We are all inhabitants of planet Earth; we are all human with the same basic needs and being there for each other is essential.
If you are able and have the resources, set up Skype, Zoom or use Whats App or Face Time to keep in touch with family members, friends, colleagues and if you are able to, befriend an elderly isolated person. 
I have changed the way I work…I have downloaded Skype and will also be using Zoom to continue to work with my clients and for keeping in touch with friends and family.

The NHS are committed to do their best by us all…lets help them by physically distancing ourselves; self-isolating if you are feeling unwell or have been in contact with a known case of COVID 19 and remember to let those you have had contact with know you are unwell.
The link below provides NHS advice and information
www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/
Remember you are not alone; we are all standing together, and we will get through this difficult time.
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Choices...

6/30/2019

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Often we react to what someone says to us instantly...almost without thinking. Sometimes this response is charged with our emotions; anger, frustration, hurt, sadness and also joy and happiness. But what does the response depend on?
 It is our own self-belief system, how we feel about ourselves.

Victor Frankl said...
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"Between stimulus and response
There is a space
In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.
In our response, 
Lies our growth and freedom"

Take a little risk, try and stave off the immediate response, breath and choose how you wish to respond. And if you don't notice the space until after the event, be kind to yourself, accept it as it is, without judgement and try again another time.
  

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Moving Forward

5/19/2019

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​As we move towards the warmer days of summer it's a good time to think about the things we would like to do. Maybe you have always wanted to paint, write, take dancing classes or learn to play an instrument. Spring is a time of creativity, new beginnings, trees budding, saplings growing stronger as they reach towards the warmth of the sun; and as we move  into summer we can see new life all around us, the birds singing and tending their young, new fledglings experiencing flight for the first time.
Take a few moments to think about how you feel, what is it you would like to do for YOU? What steps can you take to begin that journey? It might involve stepping out of your comfort zone, but often the fear is far greater than the event itself. Life is for you to make of it what you will…you have the power and the right to choose your path. It may not always be easy or comfortable, but it is yours and there will be rewards along the way.

Sara’s Tip
Keep a Citrine crystal near…it promotes motivation and helps with creativity. It is good for encouraging self-expression and helps with the release of fear. It is a beautiful stone one that reminds me of the sun in all its glory.
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Citrine Crystal
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Small acts of kindness

3/10/2019

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PictureImage courtesy of www.crystalclassics.co.uk
We are often so busy in our daily lives rushing around looking after children, husbands, parents etc. This continues as we make our way to work or carry out our daily activities. Often it involves thinking ahead, planning, arranging and often rushing from one place to another. We pass people in the street, in shops, cafés and at work. We see them but often do not make time to interact. Our minds are full, constantly feeding us information and thoughts.

Take the time today to stop…say hello to a stranger or just give them a smile. Engage in conversation with someone you have never spoken to before, it could make their day as there are so many lonely people in our society and you may be the only person who speaks to them all day. A simple gesture can bring so much joy and in turn, will also make you feel good.

Helpful Crystal

Smithsonite

Smithsonite is available in various different colours. It is a stone of tranquillity and kindness, the perfect crystal for helping to release stress and healing emotional wounds. It has a gentle vibration particularly if Lavender-Violet in colour. 
                                             

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NEW BEGINNINGS

1/24/2019

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As the dark months draw to a close and the warmth of the sun begins to gently touch all inhabitants of our earth, it is time to begin to put your hopes, wishes and desires into action.
 
Just as the sun’s warmth is gentle at first; your plans may be gentle…Little seeds that have laid dormant over the last few months slowly begin open before their journey out of the safety of the pod. They will begin to make their way up through the comfort of the dark soil reaching towards the light and its life-giving warmth which will nourish its growth.
 
Take a little time to think about your seed, your plan/s, what will help them break out of their pods and begin their journey to ultimate fruition? What nourishment do you need to begin to put your plan/s into action? Little steps at first, building on these focusing on the here and now yet not losing sight of your goal.
 
The little shoot may encounter obstructions on its path, but it will not stop its progress. The little shoot will find a way round, it may be a longer and less direct path, but it is still the path. Just like the shoot you may encounter unexpected difficulties or obstructions in your own path. Try and remember that most paths are not straight, they meander often with the choice other paths/directions along the way. You will have different opportunities open up along your path, it may be an opportunity for learning for gaining a new life experience or something that takes you away from your plan for a while. Try and remember your path is always there and you can take a break or a diversion at any time and return when you feel able to walk that path again.
 
You have an inner power, it maybe laying dormant, but it is there…this is a time to harness that power…reclaim it and become the woman you truly are.
 
Tip
 
Chrysanthemum crystal is really useful when going through change, helping with self-development. It resembles the flower of a chrysanthemum, perfect for helping you visualise your little seed opening into a beautiful flower. Spending a few moments a day holding this crystal whilst visualising your goal, can help you focus on your path more clearly. Place it in a prominent place in your home…use it to remind you of your path or your goal.  
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SELF-COMPASSION

12/7/2018

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How often do we tell ourselves we are not good enough, stupid or useless? How often do we listen to that negative voice that sits on our shoulder and ignore or maybe, not even hear our own inner voice? We may often tell ourselves we shouldn’t have done that…shouldn’t have said that…I cannot do that and many more negatives. We repeatedly beat ourselves up over our perceived failings or abilities. As women we often look in the mirror and criticise how we look, telling ourselves we should be thinner, taller, shorter heavier or prettier. How often do you truly accept yourself without criticism?
 
We are kind and loving towards family and friends, supportive when they are struggling and often a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear. We tell them not to be so judgemental or negative about themselves, yet we do not often take our own advice.
 
Take a little time out of your busy day…just a few minutes when you are alone and look at yourself in a mirror. Look deep into your eyes feeling love and compassion for the wonderful woman staring back at you. Be her friend, do not judge her but offer love from your heart. If that nagging negative voice begins to speak tell it you are not listening as you accept yourself exactly as you are, with love.
 
Notice when that criticising voice appears, catch your instant or automatic response. Is it to agree and reinforce its negativity? If so…stop…replace that voice with your own, one of love and compassion, telling yourself you are worthy and good enough exactly as you are.
Being compassionate with ourselves is an important step on the way to truly being happy. Something you truly deserve. 🙏🏻
 

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preparing for the winter months

11/11/2018

 

 As we  begin to move into the winter months heralded by the darker mornings and the spectacle of rusts, reds, yellows and tones of green adorning the trees, dancing like flames in the winter sun before they flutter gently to the earth. It is a time to reflect on what we have in our lives, our friendships, loves, family, the challenges and struggles we have or are currently facing.

As we move deeper into the winter it is time to enter our metaphorical caves, to reflect on what no longer serves us well, what is holding us back or causing us pain or distress. A time to be kind to ourselves, to evaluate how we self-care and  to foster self-compassion. Do not judge yourself, do not listen to the critical voice on your shoulder, instead be gentle, kind and loving as you would be to others. This is a time for healing and a time for emotional rest.  

During the winter months the trees shed their leaves, they fall to the earth  where they decay providing a rich fertile ground for the birth of new saplings in the spring.  This time is an opportunity to think about our plans, our new ventures and challenges, a time to go within to celebrate our achievements no matter how small we think they are...they are still achievements. For the dark months will pass and the sun will once again be powerful in the sky heating the land and giving birth to new life. 

Short Exercise 

Take a few moments out of your busy day to sit quietly;   become aware of your body, the natural rhythm of your breath, how your ribs move in and out and your breath flows like the tide rolling back and forth onto the shore. No judgement, just observe your breath, feel the cold air as it enters your nose and notice the warmer air as it leaves.  Notice your shoulders becoming more relaxed and allow thoughts to float by like clouds, acknowledge them but do not focus on them. If your thoughts intrude do not be unkind to yourself, just accept that is how it is. This is a time to focus on self-compassion and if you find this exercise helpful, to build it into your daily routine.

Sara

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