Who am I? That is not an unusual question to ask...we play so many different roles for so many different situations and people. Wife, lover, mother, daughter, boss, colleague and so on, the list is almost endless. But who are we amongst all these?
Who is the core self, the true woman behind all these roles and masks? It can be difficult to sit with this question, to really discover who you really are. Stripping away the many masks we wear to reveal the inner person can be scary and painful. It can be confusing our belief system our sense of being what really belongs to us?
This is often because we have in the past been expected to behave in certain ways...to behave in someone else's expected way of being and criticized or rejected for showing our own way of being. This can be subtle, often a generational way of being. That part of you that had a different way of being is replaced by the expected way of another...it may be a parent or care-giver, a teacher or other important figures in your early life. You then co-opt their way of being into you...it becomes part of you, a false self replacing your own aspect. For example showing joy at seeing relatives visiting your home as a small child, this may not have been an acceptable way of being and you may have been chastised and told to be quiet...seen but not heard. This subconsciously tells you that part of you is wrong/bad...the excitement, pleasure and exuberance around people visiting is not acceptable. You then adopt [subconsciously] the other way of being replacing your true core part...the exuberance-excitement or joy. That part , that core sense of self is replaced by another's aspect of themselves, quashing your core aspect.
Counselling supports you in rediscovering your true core sense of self...to identify those parts of you that do not belong to you and are stifling your true aspects of self. For incorporating others aspects/ways of being leaves us empty, feeling false and not totally relaxed or accepting of ourselves. We all carry baggage from our past that plays out in relationships we have today. You deserve to be free from the baggage and to walk forward on your path with the freedom and power to be the woman you are truly meant to be.